When we were in the neurologist's office, I said to him, what can be done about this? And he said, it’s brain atrophy. So I know the word atrophy, that just stopped me cold.
After the diagnosis I cried everyday for weeks. And I apologized to him for everything I that had ever perceived I had done wrong or I just apologized a lot. And I told him then, I said you and I are in this together, I’m not going anywhere and we’ll handle it.
So we’re a little over four years into this and right now he can’t speak, virtually, he can’t walk, he can’t read, he can’t write. Of course as I say to him, the man has no stress. Now, do I want to change places with him? No. But the man has no stress.
I have let go of the Michael I once knew, but that’s okay because he’s the Michael that I know now. It’s just all there is now is the love. There’s no real doing it’s just a loving relationship.
The time that I really treasure is when he and I take naps together. That’s actually just like it was before. You know when we would just cuddle in bed.
I guess it’s the time where then I really don’t notice there is a problem, it’s just me and Michael. I feel fortunate in this life that I have had the marriage that I dreamed of having.